I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
