Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
