Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
