you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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