I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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