Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize