the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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