Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
