so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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