Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
