dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
