I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
