SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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