Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
