You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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