How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
