Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize