What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
