remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
