she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
