I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize