I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
