john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
