her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
