I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
