Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
