Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
