How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
