Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think people are normalizing furries
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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