I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize