oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
