Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no, he came in my armpit
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
