do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize