I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
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