whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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