Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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