i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
