But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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