On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
