you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
