North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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