They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
