You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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