if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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