What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
