so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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