How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
