Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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