I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
