I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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