hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
