Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
