I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
