When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
