the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
farters have to be the big spoon...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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