so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
