im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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