Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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