come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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