why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
