Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
