This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
