My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
