too bad you live with your parents still
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
