If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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