I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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