are you still at the devil's house?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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