? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
