All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
