Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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