Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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