Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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