You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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